What can we learn from the trees?
A big welcome back to school!
It has been a wonderful start with children settling quickly and easily even though parents are not coming in to settle them in class. A shout-out to teachers and assistants on a job well done as well as parents who we know would love - or not ;) - to come in but are respectful of the rules.
This is an excellent lesson for children: there are rules wherever we go and while we may not like them, we, adults and children alike follow them because it keeps us and others safe.
We celebrated Tu B' Shvat on Thursday this week. It is the Rosh Hashana (new year) of the trees and all fauna and offers us an important learning opportunity which we can take into our everyday lives.
Jewish thought likens man to a tree:
A healthy and vibrant tree constantly grows and produces fruit in abundance, both qualitatively as well as quantitatively. So too, a person must grow and produce fine fruits in their acts of kindness and good deeds
Fruits are not vital to existence, but are consumed for pleasure and enjoyment. So too, should we help one another with pleasure and enjoyment.
A tree must be especially protected and nurtured when it is young. So too, we must especially protect and nurture our young when we raise them.
We as parents often forget that it is more what we do and what our children see us do when we don't realise they are watching, that guides their beliefs and behaviours than what we say.
We tell them to be kind but when they see us being kind, they know how it is done and how it looks. We often tell them to follow rules and listen yet they see us going through red robots or littering or any other thing that we may do in our day to day lives and they start to think that rules can be broken for our convenience. There is no judgement here, we are all guilty of this and are unlikely to perfect this so instead of berating ourselves or worse stop trying to be more conscious of what we say versus what we do, we can use these opportunities as times for open discussion with our children.
“So I am not bad for being rude to the waiter, I made a mistake and next time I will try remember to be more kind.”
“I didn't listen when you asked me for something and I am sorry.”
“I parked where I shouldn't have because I was in a hurry but that doesn't mean it is okay to ignore rules of the road”
This teaches our children that we are not perfect and they don't have to be either. It also shows them what owning our behaviour looks like. These become the solid roots that ground them enabling them to build a strong trunk with good values that can then branch out and grow and be shared.
Good Shabbos to you all!
“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”