Children , teachers and parents all have needs
This week I heard a lot about how parents are struggling at home with school work and school schedules. The very funny but a little too accurate memes and the desperate voices of parents (myself included) saying I am not this child's (children's) teacher and remind me again why they have to do this made me think about why and how this could be made easier.
In one of the first newsletters this term I explained that I don't think outcomes are the benchmark for achievement. Certainly not in the classroom and especially not in a pre-school classroom. Learning at this age is about the process, each step in a task having its own value. That is where our children do their learning:
It is about them knowing and being clear about what they have to do (comprehension)
Working out where they should start (engagement)
Troubleshooting problems that may come up for example, "I made a mistake how can I fix it?" (creativity)
Seeing a task through to the end (Grit)
feeling a measure of accomplishment seeing their finished item (competence)
These for me are more important than the finished product. This is why nursery school artworks are so beautiful. No one has stepped in to perfect them. This is something that pre-school teachers know intrinsically but as parents tasked with 'helping' their children, this isn't necessarily explicit, neither is it always practical. Sometimes it is far easier and quicker for us to do it for them than to give them the time and space to do it themselves. Add to that the pressure of seeing photos on class groups of other children's finished work and our parental pride and/or fear about our children's abilities veer us way off course.
From the time children are born we monitor their milestones. Do they eat, sleep, sit, crawl and speak at the right time and in the right way. Vigilance is good but pride, fear and competitiveness sometimes cause us to focus on what they aren't and can't do rather than what they can and are doing. Not all children do the same things at the same time. This is not because they can't but most often because they are not ready. They need time and practise and yes sometimes help but mostly just time. Your child may not yet cut, draw or listen but that doesn't mean there is something wrong. It means that your child is still learning and that is why we as teachers and parents are here. To give them opportunities to learn, practise and master skills.
If something is hard for them, encourage them to carry on or try again. When we do it for them we are taking away their opportunity to learn to do it themselves. We are 'saying', "I don't think you can do this" or "if it isn't perfect it is not good enough". Children sense this without us saying a word in the same way they sense our pride when they hold up something they did alone. Our actions really do speak louder than our words. so the next time our instinct is to step in and do it for them, try not to. When we are rushed and busy and just want to get it done quickly, remember children need time. They don't need to be perfect and neither do their parents.
“I would rather have questions that can’t be answered than answers that can’t be questioned”